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Free, round-the-clock help for children, teens and parents
Since its founding in 1978, Kids in Crisis has helped more than 80,000 Connecticut children and families; in
2007 more than 8,100 children and families received assistance from the organization.
Based in Cos Cob, Kids in Crisis provides services to children of all socio- economic conditions in
Fairfield County, including those in Darien, Greenwich, New Canaan, Norwalk, Ridgefield, Stamford,
Weston, Westport and Wilton.
For community programs call 203-622-6556
For Help call
203-327-KIDS
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Kids in Crisis - Insight Issue 36
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Teen Girls as Mean Girls
The images are disturbing and pervasive. Teen girls throw another to the ground and begin kicking her, pulling her hair, screaming, observed by others who film the melee and then post it on the Internet. A quick scan of web sites finds hundreds of similar fights posted for viewing by millions. Are teen girls increasingly violent? What can adults at home and at school
do to address the issue?
Many believe the media – including the Internet – is one of the root causes of this seemingly explosive increase in violence among adolescent girls. “More and more video games show ‘sexy’ women who engage in violent behavior, as do television programs,” says one Ohio attorney. “Women in television are now allowed to be law enforcement agents, spies and other roles previously left to men. Those roles often have the women using weapons, martial arts and not just for self defensive purposes. So the message to girls is, ‘Hey physical violence is OK; it can help you get what you need.’”
Rosalind Wiseman, author of “Queen Bees and Wannabes,” believes “we are so focused sometimes on girls having high self-esteem, which I do agree with. We don’t want our girls to be wimps.” But in the process, says Wiseman, sometimes people forget that there are a lot mean girls walking around who already have very high self esteem.
While figures don’t present a clear-cut answer whether violence among girls is on the rise, experts agree that it is becoming more visible and, for some, less of real-life action. “When you are taping something, there is distance from it personally,” notes Psychologist Dr. Keith Ablow. “So the fact that these kids bring this camcorder with them or a cell phone camcorder provides a kind of psychological distance, wherethey’re able to not be sensitive to the victim. It’s almost like she’s on a filmand isn’t real. There’s a lesson in thatfor us as people are exposed to more
and more media.”
At Kids in Crisis, one of the ways we promote non-violence among our residents is to teach and emphasize respect across the board…no matter what, says Nyisha Clough, Senior Counselor, Adolescent Services.
“We tell our residents to remember that they come from all walks of life and honor the fact that friendships are developed over time,” she explains. “We stress the concept of tolerance. You don’t have to be best friends, particularly during a time of personal crisis, whichso many of our kids are experiencing. But you DO have to get along with everyone; every person deserves respect and nothing less.’”
Staff spends a great deal of time teaching residents how to manage their anger, encouraging them ask for “space” when there are difficulties dealing with others. According to Nyisha, “when they have issues with each other, they know they have staff resources that will help mediate the situation with the girls before it results in a fight.. Teaching about problem solving can help avoid things escalating to violence.”
H.S. Students Get “Extra Help”
She looks as young as a high student herself, but when Kids in Crisis Outreach Counselor Chante Moreno walks through the hallways at Stamford’s Academy of Information Technology and Engineering (AITE) each week, high school students know she’s an adult they can turn to for confidential advice and counsel on a range of issues that affect their day-to-day lives.
Since November, when AITE, a public magnet high school, reached out to long-time partner Kids in Crisis for help in providing students a confidential resource to discuss issues big and small, Chante has been on-site three hours each week. She works alongside AITE’s guidance and social service staff to provide short-term crisis intervention and counseling services and works with families, to avert issues before they become too big to handle. “It’s really a mini-TeenTalk program for Kids in Crisis,” says Chante, “and another opportunity for area families and kids to feel they have a place to turn to for help.” Increasingly, guidance staffs are forced to focus on school and higher education issues; an Outreach Counselor like Chante can help on a more basic, individual level – help a teen deal with a difficult divorce, handle peer pressure, navigate relationship issues and more. “In the end, having a presence in area schools means we can often solve a problem at its beginning, before it becomes more difficult and perhaps even an outreach call handled here at Kids in Crisis,” says Chante. “It’s a weekly lesson in the role prevention can play in a student’s life.”
Ready for Spring Training?
As the wind howls and shovels scrape driveways, summer seems far away, but at Kids in Crisis, we’re already thinking about a swim in the Sound, a run on the beach and a Sunday bike ride. That’s because work is already underway to pull together the big KIC It…Into High Gear triathlon team, the successful fundraising effort that has raised money for Kids in Crisis over the past four years.
The big news is that the triathlon effort will be taking place closer to home: as part of the Greenwich Cup Triathlon on Sunday, August 5. By bringing the triathlon fundraising effort north from New York City, more individuals and area companies will have a chance to participate and support the Kids in Crisis programs that serve our very own communities. For the third year in a row, the effort is being spearheaded by Chris Beers of GE Commercial Aviation Services who, along with his fellow team members, has raised in excess of $200,000 for Kids in Crisis.
There are lots of ways to participate in this “sprint triathlon – a 15-mile bike ride, a ½-mile swim and a 3-mile run – open to athletes and aspiring jocks alike. Individuals can run as part of the Kids in Crisis team (led by Children’s Services Director Lee Bowbeer), families can put together their own group of participants (a new kind of family reunion?) and companies of all sizes can sponsor a team of employees. Any way, it guarantees to be a fun morning of support for a meaningful cause – and a great way to get in shape as winter subsides. For more information on participating as a group or individual (and training session information), please contact Alon Marom at 203-327-KIDS.
The Gift of Time
Volunteers are the backbone of every non-profit organization and Kids in Crisis is no different. In 2006, more than 5,600 volunteer hours were given to Kids in Crisis, as individuals and groups assisted counselors in caring for the children staying with us, facilitated SafeTalk workshops, helped with recreational and educational activities, offered administrative support and spearheaded our fund-raising initiatives. That’s more than 107 hours per week generously donated by volunteers!
In recognition of the meaningful commitment of so many area residents, Kids in Crisis will throw open its doors and happily play host for the second annual Volunteer Dinner on Tuesday, April 24 at the Teen House at the Kids in Crisis campus in Cos Cob. We invite all Kids in Crisis volunteers to join us as we honor the work of our dedicated volunteers. Won’t you be a partof this fun and festive evening? If you can make it, please call Jamie Dorman at 203-327-KIDS.
It's a Date
The staccato sound of a rainforest waterfall, the unique call of the scarlet macaw, and the pulsing rhythms of Brazilian samba will fill up the night sky on Saturday, May 12, 2007, when “Hoedown Travels to the Amazon” raises funds for the vital programs and emergency services
of Kids in Crisis.
Now in its 15th year, Hoedown is one of the area’s best known and most anticipated events – a fun-filled evening held on the expansive grounds of Tudor Investment Corporation in Greenwich. This year, Hoedown will transport guests into the heart of the Amazon jungle, with towering trees, native musicians and dancers, and an array of items produced by the indigenous peoples of the Amazon. In keeping with the eco-chic theme, invitations are being printed on “SmartWood” paper, produced from sustainable, managed forests. In an atmosphere of cool, tropical splendor, Hoedown co-chairs and Greenwich residents Alex Bergstein and Alice Ruf expect to see guests dressed in South American casual cool – jeans and jewels or camouflage and khakis, if they prefer.
As the evening’s events begin, performer and comedian Mo Rocca, current “Today” Show contributor and former correspondent on Comedy Central’s “Daily Show,” will take the stage, serving as Master of Ceremonies for the evening. Later, well-known Sotheby’s auctioneer
C. Hugh Hildesley will lead the entertaining Live Auction – always a popular part of the Hoedown event. There’s lots of exciting new elements to this year’s Hoedown, including a first-ever “Green Room,” – a pre-party lounge offering an array of rare and exquisite wines from around the world. Open from 6:30-7:30 p.m., the Green Room will serve as a special kick-off to the evening’s event. If you are interested in more information about the event, or attending “Hoedown Travels to the Amazon,” please contact 327-KIDS.
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A Reason to Flash Those Pearly Whites
For the third year in a row, Kids in Crisis will benefit from a major fundraising effort by Dental Care of Stamford, one of the area’s leading dental centers. “Smiles for Life,” which kicked off March 1 and runs through June 30, offers a discount of almost 50% on professional tooth whitening services, reducing the regular procedure fee from $500 to $275. One hundred percent of the $275 fee will be donated to the Smiles for Life Foundation, a non-profit organization of over 800 dentists nationwide. Of the money to be raised by Dental Care of Stamford, more than half will be given to Kids in Crisis to fund the agency’s programs and services throughout Fairfield County. Interested individuals do not need to be patients of Dental Care of Stamford to take advantage of this offer.
This is the tenth year Dental Care of Stamford has participated in the national Smiles for Life fundraiser, the non-profit foundation started by The Dental Crown Council; the purpose of the foundation is to raise money for children’s health issues. Dental Care of Stamford has been the leading contributor in the nation, raising a total of more than $600,000. According to Dr. Jerry Simon, founder and President of Dental Care of Stamford, “We are proud to be able to recognize the work that Kids in Crisis does and marry the needs of our patients with the needs of our communities. My partners, Dr. Greg Schwab and Dr. Evelina Dragneva, and I are always appreciative of the commitment of our patients in helping us raise significant funds for important initiatives in our area.” Over the past two years, Dental Care of Stamford has donated more than $36,000 to Kids in Crisis through the Smiles for Life program. Kids in Crisis thanks Dental Care of Stamford for their ongoing commitment to helping children and families through their financial support of outreach, community and in-house programs and services.
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