Kids in Crisis

Newsletters

Kids in Crisis - Newsletter Issue 29
Newsletter Issue 29 - November 2004

The first Conference to Keep Kids Safe on October 20th, was presented by Kids in Crisis and hosted by UCONN, Stamford. 85 students from nineteen high schools, public and private, representing nine Fairfield County communities, came together to help keep kids safe. Read more...
Keeping Kids Safe

The day after Johnny participated in a third grade SafeTalk workshop at his Stamford school, he disclosed to the school psychologist that his mother’s boyfriend beat him with a belt because his report card wasn’t good. His mother wasn’t home at the time and he was afraid to tell her. The Department of Children and Families (DCF) met with Johnny’s mom and she agreed to family counseling. However there was little improvement and Johnny was brought to Kids in Crisis in the hopes that we might help the family to work through their problems.

Johnny held back his tears at the first meeting with a Kids in Crisis caseworker. Our counselor reassured him that he was in shelter only until things were better at home. He soon began to relax. He took part in individual and peer counseling, as well as family counseling. His mom said she would do whatever it took to get her son back home. Over the course of his brief stay, Johnny and his family learned that discipline should not involve abuse and that children must be protected from harm. Johnny knows now that he can turn to a teacher or a school counselor, or he can call the Kids in Crisis Helpline if he is afraid.

SafeTalk workshops help protect kids from abuse and assault. Based on the curriculum of the National Assault Prevention Program, children learn to recognize inappropriate or dangerous behaviors and voice their concerns. Principal Leslie Pattengill, Rowayton School, said, “Many parents and faculty support the skills taught in the SafeTalk program. We have enthusiastically invited Kids in Crisis to return this year, and we are grateful for the fine work they do in preparing our children to be Safe, Strong and Free.” Additional workshops for parents and teachers teach the signs of abuse and where to turn for help. Sheila Perrin of the Perrin Family Foundation, a major funder for the program, said recently, “Given the concern of our foundation for the health and well-being of young people, we are pleased to support this important work.”

To schedule a SafeTalk workshop at your school, contact Jamie Dorman at 203.327.KIDS.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
That’s what adolescents say is the one thing that will make a real difference in their lives: respect for each other as well as respect for and from parents, teachers and neighbors.

We heard them loud and clear at the first Conference to Keep Kids Safe on October 20th, presented by Kids in Crisis and hosted by UCONN, Stamford. 85 students from nineteen high schools, public and private, representing nine Fairfield County communities, came together to help keep kids safe. They were 15-18 years of age. Brown, black and white. Affluent and inner city, and all ranges between. What they share is a desire to speak their minds on what really matters. And within moments of the day-long conference, they discovered that they share much more – they share values that transcend their differences.

“The goal of the conference was to give teens a voice, and to listen to that voice,” said Shari Shapiro, Kids in Crisis Executive Director. “The great success of this event is that we brought together kids from all walks of life, and within an hour they were communicating well and working together as if they’ve known each other forever. These kids are amazing.”

Four to six students were chosen by each of the participating schools as delegates to the conference. Each of the students identified the top three threats to their safety and well-being, which were discussed in a morning session moderated by Stamford Mayor Dannell Malloy. These include drug and alcohol use by both young people and parents; violence, including abuse, bullies and sexual predators; and family conflicts, a wide range of issues from divorce and domestic violence to what one student called “impractical rules.“

From the first, students were willing and able to articulate their concerns, including a debate with Mayor Malloy on the subject of where morals should be taught. The Mayor argued that perhaps families are failing their kids in the teaching of morals, while a student from Stamford High School argued that whatever the family circumstance, moral values begin at home.

Overall, students agreed that parents both mold and model behavior, and that teens receive many mixed messages. Mayor Malloy, who said that consensus is crucial to any positive action, agreed that parents and kids have to be of one mind. “We say we’re against violence, but the images on TV and in film, as well as video games, are more violent than anything I grew up with. A lot of music is terribly demeaning, especially to girls. Harassment and hazing in team sports is as dangerous as it gets. We have to do better.”

Honorary Chairman Charles Grodin emceed the program. A well-known writer/actor/radio commentator who lives in Wilton, Grodin told the kids there is nothing more important than perseverance. “Talent is just the beginning. You’ve got to live with rejection and never give up, be whoever you want to be and do what you want to do. Look at me – I’ve been rejected my whole life, but I’m still here. And I’m rich and famous!”

Following the morning session, students broke into workshops, facilitated by social service professionals and assisted by advisors from the local media and from GE Consumer Finance’s Marketing Department, one of the sponsors of the event. Students thrashed out the many issues affecting their safety until they agreed on one that most mattered to them, using that as the platform for a public service media campaign. Armed with only markers and drawing paper, and their imagination, they created inventive, compelling media campaigns to keep kids safe.

Said a student from Norwalk High School, “Parents need to listen. Either they aren’t there or they don’t get it or they don’t want to get it, so they don’t pay attention. Most of us can’t talk to our parents and that’s a real problem. I mean, I don’t want them making my decisions for me, but I want them to know what’s going on.” A freshman at Ridgefield High School echoed that thought. “The truth is, we feel more comfortable talking to a teen than to a parent.”

Following a box lunch provided by the Sheraton Stamford Hotel, Starwood Hotels and Resorts, DJ Ed Lover of Power 105.1 FM wowed the kids with his candor and his words of wisdom. “You get involved with drugs, it will get you, now or in the future; you never get away from it. You drink and drive, you might kill yourself, you might kill someone’s child. How do you live with that?” Lover went on to talk about the importance of his own childhood in a poor family in Queens, NY. “We were taught as kids to love and respect our neighbors. Every child in America is part of a collective neighborhood. So it’s not just about you, it’s about your family, your hood, your community, your country. Think about the kind of person you are because of the people in your life – your friends, your teachers, your neighbors. We need to get back to everybody taking care of everybody.”

to everybody taking care of everybody.” The highlight of the day was the closing presentations made by the students of each of the eight workshops. Complete with rough props, storyboards, occasional music and a lot of creative flair, students presented media campaigns that, while different in approach and style, cried out to both kids and parents to make better choices to stay safe.

Be There, Be Aware. Your child’s foundation starts with you. A campaign for parents.

I Choose For Me – A documentary featuring teens staying clean from drugs and alcohol.

Pop the Bubble, Embrace Your World – an effort to bring kids closer together by breaking down barriers.

Redefine the Party. A commercial where kids choose to have fun without drugs and alcohol.

Protect Yourself. A print and billboard campaign to help kids protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases.

Parodies on current marketing campaigns: Absolute Communication, and Got Drugs?

It’s Your Choice, but What about Them? A campaign that includes teens wearing a lanyard imprinted with those words to help them stay on track.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. If you want it, you need to give it. A campaign acronym for Reach Out, Empowerment, Security, Privacy, Esteem, Care, Trust.

Family Flick Nite
Family Flick Nite for our Partnership for Kids donors was a smashing evening, made possible by a generous gift from Northern Trust, one of the nation’s leading wealth advisory firms. Children and parents picnicked on the lawn and enjoyed a screening of Scooby Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed. Many thanks to our hosts, Leslie and Ashish Bhutani, to Big Wave International who donated the screen, to Garden Catering for boxed dinners, and to the members of the Partnership for Kids, our single largest source of private funding to help keep kids safe.

Ridgefield Spring Fling
Once again, our special friends in Ridgefield will host a dinner-dance to benefit Kids in Crisis. Spring Fling will be held March 19th at the Ridgefield Community Center. Our own Managing Director, Denise Qualey will chair the event this year, with assistance from Honorary Chair Diane Fossi, who has been a driving force behind this event for several years. This is always a wonderful evening that contributes so much to help us protect children. And because the Ridgefield community is committed to Kids in Crisis, we can not only provide round-the-clock crisis services to Ridgefield residents, we are also able to fund a TeenTalk Student Outreach Counselor full-time at the High School, to help teens live healthier safer lives.

For more about the event, contact Cheryl Colucci at 203.327.KIDS.

In Loving Memory

Jack Anderson Olga Bigger Alice Bongiovanni Adelaide Bourne Barbara Casey Linda Feinne-Roth George German Michael Jon Greenberg Louis Grossman Laurie E. Guido Carolyn Kennedy Fred Kiachif Rusty Kraft Louise Lenz Jason Lorenti Matilda Marino		Roger Maynard Connie Murphy John C. Murphy Diane Redden Charles Robinson Dorothy Robinson Miriam Spiegel William E. Brossy Ernest H. (Tony) Brown, Jr. Dominic J. Ceci, Sr. David’s Closet William DeWitt-Romig William Edgar Ryan H. Murdoch Walter Winegar Pamela Wolfe
We are Grateful to Those who Think of Kids in Crisis in their Time of Sorrow