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Kids in Crisis - Insight Issue 32
Insight Issue 32 - Fall 2005

Meaningful Goodbyes  Teaching Children How To Say Goodbye  Goodbyes are hard. It implies loss, perhaps grief, and as a result, many people have a difficult time saying goodbye. Some adults can ignore the importance of closure, but for children staying at Kids in Crisis, goodbyes are vitally important. “By the time some of our teenagers come to Kids in Crisis, they’ve been in 6, 10, sometimes a dozen different placements,” says ElizabethMurdoch, Social Worker, Adolescent Services. “Because these placements often end abruptly, the kids have rarely had any transition time, meaning no time to have goodbyes.” As a “corrective emotional experience” Kids in Crisis works to teach all residents how to say goodbye and help them understand why it is a healthy thing to do. When plans for discharge begin to take shape, the clinical staff begins one-on-one discussions about what’s hard about leaving and what each child will miss about Kids in Crisis. “We talk about what he or she is looking forward to, what their hopes are and what they are scared about.” Adds Elizabeth, “There is a lot of fear in leaving and it’s important to hear and respond to individual fears.” Because there is often no frame of reference for successful goodbyes, some of the kids scheduled to leave Kids in Crisis act out when they hear they will be leaving. They become angry or difficult; they try to minimize their sadness by saying they don’t want a goodbye party.

But a goodbye party is important, for each child and for staff, too, says Elizabeth. It gives all residents and staff at Kids in Crisis a chance to say what they will miss about the soon to be ex-resident; then, after a few farewell gifts are opened and cake is shared, that child goes around the

Their placements often end abruptly... the kids have rarely had any transition time, meaning no time to say goodbye. table and shares what he or she will miss about each individual. Admittedly, it can be an emotional party. “Kids see they are capable of making a connection,” says Elizabeth. “They are able to admit their sadness.”

Of course, the most visible goodbye lies ahead: The Wall of Fame. When each boy or girl leaves Kids in Crisis, they’re given the opportunity to leave their “handprints” behind on the walls of the Teen House. “The kids are anxious to leave their mark and, for some, to be able to say the things they haven’t said out loud. That’s usually where we see them thank the residents and staff with their heartfelt, meaningful sentiments,” says Elizabeth. “Through their words on the wall, we’re reminded of them every day after they’ve left.”

Successful TeenTalk Program Expanded in Ridgefield
Town and private donations fund new middle school effort

Broadening the successful program launched at Ridgefield High School in 2004, the Kids in Crisis TeenTalk program has been expanded this fall, becoming available to students at Ridgefield’s East Ridge Middle School. Beginning with the 2005-2006 school year, a new counselor, Tracy Duva M.S., has taken up residence at the school to provide adolescents with a confidential support system that helps them tackle issues impacting their lives.

Navigating adolescence is difficult. Concerns about school, relationships, family and the future, take on great significance. Having someone to help a teen plot a course can foster successful decision making. Experienced Kids in Crisis TeenTalk counselors work at area middle and high schools to provide a listening ear and strong guidance. Additionally, TeenTalk counselors team with school administrators to offer group sessions for parents and students that address issues including substance abuse, depression, stress and divorce.

Funding for the expansion of TeenTalk to the East Ridge Middle School comes from a combination of public and private funds including a portion of the proceeds from a successful Ridgefield “Have A Heart” fundraising event, and a grant provided by the Anne S. Richardson Fund and the Town of Ridgefield. This private/public partnership is a true collaboration between Kids in Crisis, the Fund and the Ridgefield community, all of whom recognize the importance of providing teens with the resources they need to succeed.

New TeenTalk counselor Tracy Duva started school simultaneously with East Ridge students. Ms. Duva comes to the TeenTalk position with a strong background in counseling, including an M.S. in Counseling from the University of Bridgeport and a B.S.W. from Southern Connecticut State University. She is currently completing her work for a Certificate of Advanced Study from the Graduate School of Education and Allied Professions at Fairfield University. Ms. Duva has held positions at Hall Neighborhood House and Youth Fair Chance, directing the AmeriCorps programs. Additionally, she has also worked as Associate Director of Admissions at the University of Bridgeport. She is a resident of Trumbull.

“Kids today are dealing with unparalleled levels of stress,” notes Shari L. Shapiro, Executive Director of Kids in Crisis. “Having a resource nearby to provide support, guide clear thinking and develop action steps can mean adolescence doesn’t have to be so painful or isolating.”  She added, “Parents and children tell us time and time again how valuable this program is to them. Clearly, the Town of Ridgefield recognizes the importance of giving area adolescents and families the best chance possible for success and happiness.”

Celebrating 25 years of leadership

Kids in Crisis Executive Director Shari Shapiro recently celebrated her 25th year with the agency. To honor Shari’s ongoing commitment to Connecticut children, Kids in Crisis staff and board gathered – along with some surprise family guests – at the Agency for a celebration on a beautiful late September afternoon. At the party, Shari was honored by long-time supporters, including many of the founding members of Kids in Crisis and local officials. The outpouring of love for Shari and her efforts was reflected in the generous donations by partygoers, who funded the party, as well as the creation of “Shari’s Garden,” a beautiful, new perennial garden on the grounds of the Kids in Crisis campus. The fun didn’t stop after the party, though.  Stamford Mayor Dannel Malloy proclaimed the following day “Shari Shapiro Day” in Stamford, recognizing Shari’s roots in the community where she was raised, is raising her family and providing services to so many local children. Despite being at the helm for more than two decades, “I don’t think there is a day that goes by that I don’t learn something from our kids,” says Shari.